Loneliness

“One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.”- Proverbs 18:24

“The one who gets wisdom loves life; the one who cherishes understanding will soon prosper.”- Proverbs 19:8

My season of singleness is definitely hard to follow, but so far, it’s going well. I did try to date, but I could feel God gently nudging me away from dating every time I attempted to. For a while, I just chalked that up to not being fully over the last guy I dated, but it was really because God was telling me that it isn’t currently my time to be with someone in that way. We live in a world where everyone is pressured to marry early, to start having children young, but why do we feel that way? The answer is simple: loneliness. Now, I’m not saying that all early marriages are doomed to fail, mostly because I’ve seen plenty of young couples last longer than older couples, but I am saying that there’s a good portion of people that just settle because they feel they won’t find anyone. For awhile, that was me. I thought that no man could ever love me the way I was loved previously; honestly, that is true because every person shows love differently, even if they share a love language, but it’s not something to worry about. God has you, has me, in the palm of his hand and/or safely tucked beneath his wing, and He will give us what we are supposed to have when it is in His timing.

Loneliness means a lack of companionship and fellowship; unfortunately, everyone feels that way at some point in their life, or even feels that way currently (even some of which whom may be married). We try to get rid of that loneliness by jumping into a romantic relationship way too early; sometimes you make hasty decisions to run from problems that just end up furthering your loneliness because of the distance you put in between you and the issue you were too scared to fix; sometimes we result to other unhealthy ways of trying to fill that void by drinking, doing drugs/taking drugs, stealing, gossiping, becoming a bully to someone you’re actually jealous of, etc, the list goes on. What people fail to realize is that doing those things only proves to take you further away from the true solution: finding Jesus and accepting Him into your life as your Savior, your Protector, and your Healer.

We are so caught up in the hurt, the pain, the betrayal, the separations in friendships/relationships, we don’t realize that we are letting the enemy steal our joy and peace; we are actually letting the enemy win. What we must do is tell God, to go to Him alone (in a private place), bow humbly before him and pray. Pray that He will show you next steps, pray that He will heal/mend your broken heart, pray that He will take your hand and guide you back to the path you wandered off of; basically, go immediately before God, reconnecting with him and allowing him to take you into his arms and hold you, comfort you, and of course, to chisel away those hurts.

Satan will try to fight you on this by attempting to fill your head with lies, trying to convince you that God doesn’t love you, that He has much bigger and better people to deal with, that you’re just small and insignificant to him. Do not believe a word that Satan says! God loves ALL of us with his whole heart; no one is above the next as he holds us in equality, smothering us with love and more blessings that we can imagine (definitely more that we deserve). He wants us to find our true joy, our true love in Him so that whenever these times of loneliness come up, we automatically go to him instead of trying to figure it out ourselves while he waits in agony on the sidelines, hoping that you will come to him soon so that he can scoop you up and just give you endless love.

Also remember that if you are entering into a season of loneliness, it may also be that God is actually calling you into a season of holiness (to be like God; to acknowledge your place in Him and your role in life). When this happens, God wants us to see that it is possible to be earnestly happy while just serving Him and His kingdom, that there really is nothing greater than growing His Kingdom. Holiness is divine guidance given by the Holy Spirit, so there’s absolutely no reason not to trust God to get you through it (for he is the one who gave it to you knowing that you could indeed handle it).

“But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.” -1 Corinthians 7:9

Whilst I’m in this season of singleness, I truly believe that God wants me to build a better relationship with him, a closer one. This missionary journey is going to be a big part of it, of that I am sure; mostly because once I embark on this journey, I will not be the same when I come back. What I thought I wanted now could not be what I want when I return. God calls every young adult, every person, to go through a season of singleness to see whether or not they’d even be able to live a truly committed life to HIM before they’d even consider living in a marriage covenant with a man (in my own case for instance.) After all, a marriage is a covenant between a man and woman; they are brought together by God because they will prove to better His kingdom together, more so than they could if they were apart. Marriage is becoming one flesh with each other; to die of yourself and become accountable to (and also holding accountability to) your spouse as you both live together for God and His glorious Kingdom.

Also, while I know what I love to do, I’m not sure how God wants me to use those things, those skills to better His kingdom. I am getting a slight idea, whether or not it is what He wants me to do, but I feel that it could be a traveling journalist. Yes, I absolutely adore music, but I loved writing before I loved music (at least in regards to performing). I feel that I can do music ministry at any point, even if I’m not a part of an official band, but if I combine writing and traveling (aka…traveling journalist), I can be on mission for Christ while exploring the world, and writing/blogging about my adventures and sharing what God is doing, how He’s moving. I’ve always struggled with doing local ministry, and while that is very important to do, to minister where he places you, I feel that once I start getting too comfortable, I start slacking off in regards to doing what HE wants me to do and end up focusing on what I want to do instead.

But, if I keep moving, more people will hear and eventually, I truly believe that God WILL call me to a specific area to stay, plant roots, and go from there. Something I’ve learned through my ministry pastors (Gary Willet and Rick Ware) is: always to be available, flexible and surrendered. The first two I feel that I have no trouble with truly getting, but when it comes to that last word, “surrendered”, I struggle immensely. This journey has me fully surrendering to God; from a future marriage to a Godly man (whoever that may be), all the way to where I’m meant to make a difference for His Kingdom (even if that means I’ll be on the move for awhile), all of it needs to be surrendered. The World Race is an excellent first step to this next chapter of my life; I look forward to seeing what He will do, and, though I am slightly nervous to see just how much this will push me, I’m also excited to see just how much I’m truly capable of when God is directly beside me, leading the charge.

“The quiet words of the wise are more to be heeded than the shouts of a ruler of fools. Wisdom is better than weapons of war, but one sinner destroys much good.”- Ecclesiastes 9:17-18