Faith in Illness

Like I had said: here’s the final post for our time in Armenia. So, for those who don’t know, I found out that I have low blood pressure my senior year of high school. I had passed out before, at random moments and usually because I was overheated or dehydrated, but what I didn’t know was that I have a low count of electrolytes in my system and that also played a role in the times I’ve passed out before. One of the side effects of low blood pressure is that I don’t sweat; I’m not entirely sure of the details of why, but I do know that I sweating is not something I do. I know that people say that as a joke, saying that they “glisten” or “sparkle” instead of sweating, but I’m my case, I really don’t biologically sweat (which is honestly more of a hindrance rather than a blessing as most people would think). What is an electrolyte and what do they do you ask? Well, an electrolyte is an ionized/ionizable constituents of a living cell, blood, or other organic matter and in regards to their importance: they help to regulate your ph levels and muscles, keeping you hydrated and much more. So basically, they’re important to your normal body functions. 

“‘For I know the plans I have for you’, declares the LORD, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.’” ~Jeremiah 29:11

So, I knew going on this race would be challenging to my health in some places, BUT God was very gracious in regards to keeping the weather relatively low and that definitely helped me in regards to being nervous about how my body would react. BUT, it started getting warmer again at the end of our time in Georgia, and going into the month of Armenia and so on since we are now back in Craiova, Romania. In the second week of our time in Armenia, I got really sick; it wasn’t COVID (which I wouldn’t preferred), but it was actually very hazardous to my health because it targeted my nervous system, aka, my few amount of electrolytes. It started out with an intense bolt of pain flashing throughout the muscles in my legs and knees; I had been walking a lot that day, so I brushed it off as soon as it went away as maybe just my muscles being sore and tired due to all the excess walking (our ministry site was literally right above the place we were living in, so all we had to do was walk up some stairs; we were very low in excessive mobility/walking this month).

It all hit me the next morning like a freight train. I was overheated, every muscle, joint and bone was aching with an intense pain, so bad that it hurt to get up, a migraine that made me nauseous and lightheaded, and those are just the basics. I felt like I hadn’t drank water in days because my mouth was so dry, I felt fatigued just be trying to sit up in my bed, let alone if I tried to get up and walk. Then, the heat would go away and I’d be freezing cold and even though I wrapped a blanket around myself, I still felt cold; the hot and cold flashed continued throughout the next couple days, the pain coming and going, and the dizziness remained throughout the whole time and I was down for almost 2 weeks if I had to guess. My teammates were praying fervently, as well as supplying me with plenty of electrolyte-filled juices/liquids, minimal food because I was afraid that I wouldn’t be able to hold it down and just keeping an eye on me; I felt very loved and seen by both God and my team, and I was able to find joy even though I was absolutely terrified of this sickness in me. 

“Keep trusting in the LORD and do what is right in His eyes. Fix your heart on the promises of God, and you will dwell in the land, feasting on His faithfulnes. Find your delight and true pleasure in Yahweh, and he will give you what you desire the most.” ~Psalm 37:3-4 TPT

Once I told my mom, she consulted with a doctor back home and he said that it was a common nerve virus, but that he didn’t know the name and it was more-or-less something I just had to let advance on its’ course and ride it out with patience and perseverance. Once I had started to feel better, I went out with Tiffany and Bailee to go prayer walking (the previous story in my last blog post), the treasure hunt throughout Yerevan and I was perfectly fine throughout the majority of the day. I even had my first REAL meal out and about in the city, my first coffee and everything, did some souvenir shopping and found these adorable daisy earrings made out of clay and much more, so I was thriving…until I finished buying the earrings. A wave of fatigue hit me, alongside a rush of nausea and I barely made it up the stairs to sit down on the couch that happened to be right outside the shop doors (a blessing from God). To ease my stomach pains, I decided to try and take some ibuprofen to dampen it down, but I managed to barely get down one pill before I felt like I had to throw up. I was able to push it down, but just barely, and I was praying over-and-over in my head, begging God to ease my pains and make me strong enough to endure the rest of the day so I wouldn’t have to leave early.

Tiff and Bailee came up the stairs and immediately noticed that something was wrong and went into a posture of prayer as soon as they asked me if I was okay. My nerves felt like they were on fire, but as soon as they started praying, that fire lowered and I felt relief and a coolness come over me. I sat for a couple more minutes after they finished praying for me, and then was able to get back and enjoy the rest of my day pain free, thinking that was the end of it. I did, however, rejoice in the fact that my pain was gone, that the LORD had heard my plea and prompted my friends to pray over me; I was also glad to have had the remainder of the day to rejoice and be glad that I saw the LORD moving as we prayed over many people and had the opportunity to pass out flowers as small tokens, blessed with love from God to people who are thirsting for Him (even if they don’t yet realize). Then, as soon as I woke up the next morning…I realized that my battle with this virus was not over yet.

“To make rash, hasty decisions shows that you are not trusting the LORD. But when you truly rely totally on God, you will still act carefully and prudently. Self-confident know-it-all’s will prove to be fools. But when you lean on the wisdom from above, you will have a way to escape the troubles of your own making.” ~Proverbs 28:25-26

I hadn’t thrown up once during the initial time of sickness, but this morning was different. The second I woke up, I ended up bolting out of bed and heading straight for the bathroom. This occurred many times in the span of 2 hours, 9 times to be exact; this, as many know, is not a normal thing to vomit 9 times within the span of 2 hours, especially because 7 times out of the total of 9, stuff actually came out, but the other 2 were only dry heaving. (Sorry about the details, but I do think it’s important in order to show just how abnormal this was/is). Some of this happened during our usual morning team time, and once we did our check-ins, I told them about my consistent throwing up and they immediately prayed and stated the importance of a hospital visit since it was/is abnormal, and because I was severely dehydrated. They didn’t do a whole lot at the hospital, but they did do an ultrasound and nothing abnormal appeared; they prescribed an antibiotic and a dietary supplement to support the indigestion I had been having since I didn’t know if I should eat or not for at least the remainder of the day. When we got home, most went to English club, but myself and one of my other teammates stayed back (she had to go to the hospital as well that day, but for different reasons) and slept/rested.

Praise the LORD, the next day I felt immensely better and didn’t get sick again, and I was no longer scared to eat normal food anymore. Basically, this time of illness was scary, and I was unsure where my health stood and what was going on, BUT the LORD proved to me, once again, just how much of a provider he is! He is SUCH a good caretaker, always on the lookout for what we need and is always right there beside us, giving us supernatural strength and will-power when we lack it or feel chaotic and out of control. I had such a sweet time of getting to know my Father in a brand new way, seeing new things about Him, a new depth about Him and it made me feel even closer to Him than I have ever felt. This race has been challenging, filled with raw emotions, lots of crying and/or grieving as God gives and takes things away that are necessary for our personal growth and/or inner healing and so much more! I had the chance to truly embrace the idea of being both happy and sad at all times, and seeing how instead of that being a burden, that it’s actually a beautiful blessing granted to us BY God. 

I challenge you today to pray for the posture of being both happy and sad at all times; it’s hard, but absolutely worth every second of the struggle !