Inner Healing

“So now I’ll lie down and sleep like a baby – then I’ll awake in safety, for you surround me with your glory. Even though ten thousand dark powers prowl around me, I won’t be afraid. Rise up and help me, Yahweh! Come and save me, God! For you will slap them in the face, breaking the power of their words to harm me. For the Lord alone is my Savior. What a feast of favor and bliss He gives his people! Pause in his presence.” ~Psalm 3:5-8 TPT

What is the meaning of “deliverance”? Google says: the action of being rescued/set free.  And in the Bible, it is the act of delivering someone or something; the state of being delivered especially: liberation, rescue. I had a deliverance session in Istanbul at our month 6 debrief during the snowstorm with the women’s leadership team on my squad. If you’ve never seen/been involved with a session such as this, it’s intense to say the least (but in the best way possible), and it’s definitely not something to take lightly either. To start, they asked me to spend a LOT of time in prayer and worship with God, to really allow Him in by solely focusing on Him, limiting what I watch/listen to and ONLY listening to things that are focusing on God. They recommend this because it allows God in to search your heart, to pick and prune away at the dark, hidden places that you may/may not be aware of immediately so that it can be taken away during the session; the goal of a deliverance is to experience freedom, the true freedom and joy that IS in our Savior because it surpasses all of our understanding and is what He wants us to have.

After spending hours in prayer and worship, they called me in so that we could begin. It starts with some more worship, oriented around relying on/trusting in God (because we can’t truly be delivered without Him; if we try to do it without Him, we are doing it wrong and we only end up hurting ourselves more so than actually healing) and some basic questions to get an idea of what God is trying to free you from. After that, you get into some repentance/reconciliation with anyone, the confession of any sins you may have, forgiveness (in regards to offering it, but also making sure that you know that you are receiving it) with yourself, others and asking (and knowing afterwards; acknowledging that you received that forgiveness too) God for forgiveness as well; then, you go into a prayer posture. Why are these questions so important? Because it not only allows you to be open and vulnerable, it also gives you a chance to truly be seen by those who are interceding during this session for you, but also a chance for you to acknowledge what God is trying to free you from and it helps you better understand how the enemy is being petty in how he target you.

Above: The cafe we met a lovely young woman named Nicole who we ministered to a bit in Tbilisi, Georgia. We will be returning to that same shop later to pour into her a bit more. (Also, yes this post is from Turkey, but these photos will be from our current country, Georgia.)

“His massive arms are wrapped around you, protecting you. You can run under his covering of majesty and hide. His arms of faithfulness are a shield keeping you from harm. You will never worry about an attack of demonic forces at night nor have to fear a spirit of darkness coming against you. Don’t fear a thing! Whether by night or by day, demonic danger will not trouble you, nor will the powers of evil be launched against you.” ~Psalm 91:4-6 TPT

They warn you ahead of time that the spirits you are being delivered from tend to come out in different ways, such as: retching/vomiting (that’s mine), screaming, laughing, and the list goes on, but that they are definitely not something to be afraid of, rather just something to be aware of. So, throughout the next part of the session, the people who are interceding over you pray aloud in however they feel they need to do: some speak in tongues, some are praying over you specifically (how you’re handing it, for feelings to come out easier) and others may be praying that the spirits leave, and it’s all a mixture of intense, spiritual emotions for the person being delivered and for those around them who are praying over them and are battling the enemy on your behalf. It’s a very intense time, but it’s also very sweet; it serves to give you closure, to have the people with you stand in place of people you need to forgive/love better and you are getting support from them as they walk you through the difficult situations/struggles you’ve gone through to show you where God was in them, as well as being emotionally supportive as you process them and are delivered from them.

The whole session can last up to (at the very least honestly) 2 hours, but can go as long as 4-6 hours; mine was between 4 ½-5 hours, filled with tears and the comforting words/powerful prayers from the women surrounding me and helping me in the deliverance. After it was finished, we did another worship time with relaxing, more upbeat music to really just give praise and glory to God for the work that He did throughout that time, thanking Him for freeing you in the ways you feel lighter in. I was delivered from the spirits of fear, doubt, comparison, self-hatred, confusion and control; immediately after the session was over, I felt lighter and I felt even closer to God than I’ve been in a long time. The next couple days were full of joy, love and rest, BUT they were also very hard because I was in a vulnerable place where the spirits would try and come back in. In order to increase the odds of remaining free from them immediately after, they recommended me to stay in a place of abstaining from watching/listening to anything that is violent or anything that would entertain the things I was struggling with pre-deliverance that would make it easier for them to try and edge their way back in.

Above: Beautiful landscape near our bnb in Batumi where you can see the most landscape diverse regions in the world; Georgia has a beach (the black sea), beautiful mountains, a small desert, city regions and countryside. It’s absolutely stunning!

“Those who are motivated by the flesh only pursue what benefits themselves. But those who live by the impulses of the Holy Spirit are motivated to pursue spiritual realities. For the sense and reason of the flesh is death, but the mind-set controlled by the Spirit finds life and peace. In fact, the mind-set focused on the flesh fights God’s plan and refuses to submit to his direction, because it cannot! For no matter how hard they try, God finds no pleasure with those who are controlled by the flesh.” ~Romans 8:5-8 TPT

Overall though, it has helped me really step into God’s love for me, to really focus on every trial as only a challenge given by God as a way to help me grow in better relationship with Him and to see His love for me in that (both good and hard, not truly bad because nothing bad comes from God). It’s given me better discernment between my voice, the enemy’s voice and God’s voice so that I can see what thoughts are from each in order to live more in a way that honors God’s Will/Plan instead of trying to make my own desires become how I live, and how to avoid, then cast out the will of the enemy because his plans won’t come to pass. It’s also given me more of an insight in how to better trust God, to truly know that my plans are great, but His is BETTER and I want His best, not my own. A deliverance serves to free/rescue you, but it also a GREAT time of inner healing; I would recommend it to anyone, and I do feel comfortable enough now to lead one/be a part of one in intercession, whatever is needed. I feel that it is a great way to truly understand what you are feeling, and to know how to go forward in allowing God to heal it, as well as knowing how to help others you may meet who also struggle with it. It’s a great way to be in better community with others as well, to grow your love and compassion for those who may be harder to love, to truly understand the meaning of grace and how to give it easier. It’s an absolutely beautiful experience, and it also helps you to know our Father’s heart deeper and more intimately.